It's the Last Day of the Year

Today is my mom's birthday.  As a favor to us, and because it's the greatest gift we could give her, Max slept over last night and is spending the day with her.  Our motivation behind this is not only to give her something awesome for her birthday, but to clean.  That's right, we're not going to have a romantic NYE date or even spend the day doing something exciting and fun.  We're going to clean the hell out of our house.  (Although typing this up is not the best start; I have to be able to enjoy a little time to myself!)
I've discovered that newborn and infancy stages are far easier than the toddler stages of parenting.  Granted, we were blessed with a very easy-going, happy baby in Max, but still... Now when I am home with Max all day, we play all day long.  It makes me endlessly happy, of course.  I love watching him learn and discover things and sing and "read" and do all the things that he couldn't do even yesterday.  But that little bugger has a lot of energy, and it requires so much to keep up with him.  It's very difficult to multi-task.  When he was an infant, I could make dinner while he lay in his bouncy chair, so happily.  Now the only way to confine him is in his booster seat and then he doesn't understand why the heck he's not eating!  When he was an infant, I could schedule my stuff with his naps.  Even though they were shorter, so was the time between them.  So first nap, clean up kitchen.  Second nap, put away laundry.  Third nap, shower.  If I was efficient enough, I could even sneak in a nap myself.  Now, we have 1 midday nap that is about 2 hours.  Not enough time, Max, not enough time.  Plus, when do I clean his room?  When I put away his laundry, I end up also cleaning up everything he used to occupy himself while I made sure his clothes were hanging neatly in his open closet.
All this has made it necessary for a monthly-ish Saturday with the grandparents so I can mover freely about without feeling like I am neglecting my son, nor am I expecting him to crawl around on a floor covered in dog hair, nor am I frightening him with the dreaded vacuum cleaner, whose noise causes such terror in Max's eyes that I want to throw the darn thing out the door.
So I am off to spend my child free New Year's Eve day with my husband cleaning.  Hopefully starting 2012 in a clean house will make me feel better about the fact that I know it won't stay that way.

Year Out and In

So only I would begin something at the end of the year.  At a time when the calendar tells us that new beginnings are ready for us as the clock strikes 12 from December 31, 2011 to January 1, 2012, I say "Why wait?"  I am motivated now and, more importantly, I have time now.
I can imagine this very well may take the path of every journal and diary I've ever begun.  As meaningful and true as my intentions were, something else always takes precedence.  I am hopeful that won't be the case, but I have to be realistic.  My motivation is different this time.
As a child, I wrote in diaries to let out my deepest secrets that no one could ever know (like who I thought was so so so so cute or that I didn't always want to make the responsible/good choice).  As a young adult, I wrote in journals to have an outlet for my thoughts that I was otherwise to busy to think.  To contemplate the limitations society was placing on me with all these rules and laws.  To sometimes find inspiration to write a really heartfelt (and sometimes good) poem.  This time I type in a blog.  I intend to use this blog to "talk" about the things I want to talk about, but I'm just not sure who will listen.  My single and/or childless friends don't necessarily want to hear about the trials and tribulations of being a working mom and though I feel confident they love my son, they can't listen as much as I want to talk about him.  Few people have an understanding of my position as a substitute teacher and what that means, particularly when it becomes littered with politics and additional work for which I am not compensated.  Sometimes talking about my "extra-curriculars" becomes such a tiresome argument for which I just don't have the energy.  And I have concerns/gripes/opinions about some friends and/or family members that I just never know if it's my place to voice out loud and even if it is, those that hear them are either defensive or over-zealous.
Don't mistake my explanation for any kind of "woe is me" stance on my life.  I have a very good life.  It's not perfect by anyone's standards, but I'm pretty happy.  I have great family, extended and immediate; great friends who are typically outside-the-box kinds of people; I have a job, for which alone I am eternally grateful, but I also happen to like for the most part the people with whom I work and interact.  Overall, not too shabby.  But despite all this, sometimes a girl needs to gripe.  Things that are not worth causing an all-night discussion because of my innate need to overstate things (which ironically drives me crazy in others).  Things not worth using precious little time I have with my family over dinner before one of us is pulled in another direction.  But things, nonetheless, for which I would be "Maternally Grateful" to get off my chest.