Year Out and In

So only I would begin something at the end of the year.  At a time when the calendar tells us that new beginnings are ready for us as the clock strikes 12 from December 31, 2011 to January 1, 2012, I say "Why wait?"  I am motivated now and, more importantly, I have time now.
I can imagine this very well may take the path of every journal and diary I've ever begun.  As meaningful and true as my intentions were, something else always takes precedence.  I am hopeful that won't be the case, but I have to be realistic.  My motivation is different this time.
As a child, I wrote in diaries to let out my deepest secrets that no one could ever know (like who I thought was so so so so cute or that I didn't always want to make the responsible/good choice).  As a young adult, I wrote in journals to have an outlet for my thoughts that I was otherwise to busy to think.  To contemplate the limitations society was placing on me with all these rules and laws.  To sometimes find inspiration to write a really heartfelt (and sometimes good) poem.  This time I type in a blog.  I intend to use this blog to "talk" about the things I want to talk about, but I'm just not sure who will listen.  My single and/or childless friends don't necessarily want to hear about the trials and tribulations of being a working mom and though I feel confident they love my son, they can't listen as much as I want to talk about him.  Few people have an understanding of my position as a substitute teacher and what that means, particularly when it becomes littered with politics and additional work for which I am not compensated.  Sometimes talking about my "extra-curriculars" becomes such a tiresome argument for which I just don't have the energy.  And I have concerns/gripes/opinions about some friends and/or family members that I just never know if it's my place to voice out loud and even if it is, those that hear them are either defensive or over-zealous.
Don't mistake my explanation for any kind of "woe is me" stance on my life.  I have a very good life.  It's not perfect by anyone's standards, but I'm pretty happy.  I have great family, extended and immediate; great friends who are typically outside-the-box kinds of people; I have a job, for which alone I am eternally grateful, but I also happen to like for the most part the people with whom I work and interact.  Overall, not too shabby.  But despite all this, sometimes a girl needs to gripe.  Things that are not worth causing an all-night discussion because of my innate need to overstate things (which ironically drives me crazy in others).  Things not worth using precious little time I have with my family over dinner before one of us is pulled in another direction.  But things, nonetheless, for which I would be "Maternally Grateful" to get off my chest.