Little Man

I don't know when this happened, but I don't have a baby anymore.  I know I've been warned, and I guess on a certain level I was prepared, even excited.  But now that he's gone, I'm mourning him a little.  Fortunately, the little boy that has replaced him is so fun and wonderful and exciting that I am too busy to fall into a depression over my loss.  But sometimes when I watch with amazement all he is capable of and realize he doesn't need me in the same ways as he used to, I feel sad.  Sometimes I even get a little teary.  And then I scold myself because how can I possibly be sad when I have so much joy right in front of me and if I waste my time being sad about what's over, I will miss out on truly amazing things right now.
These crazy thoughts are the things no one tells you about when you become a parent.  I've been told to "treasure every moment", "it goes so fast"....as if I can possibly do anything to slow down time.  But those cliches helped me prioritize my life for sure.   I haven't done theatre since I was pregnant.  2 and a half years.  That's a HUGE leap for someone who did some form of theatre continuously since 1991.  I helped out with directing a one-act this summer and I am diving in head first to directing a musical next month.  I am incredibly nervous about this commitment and the time away from Max, but I am comforted that at least I am home with him now during the day so I won't be in a scenario of never seeing him for 2 months.  But still.  I love putting him to bed.  I love our nighttime routine.  He has just started to want to help make dinner.  Who knows how these things will change by the time my show closes?  And that is when I will mourn the precious hours lost and celebrate the shining star his Daddy helped him become in my absence.  It's an emotional roller coaster, folks.  But it's even crazier than they tell you.

Help You?

The following is an entry that was to be prior to "Multitasking" made the cut.  "Multitasking" exists because I didn't realize a draft was saved when the plug was pulled.  But Max grows and earns more and more "lasts" - last time he said "sawwy?"  I don't know; last time he said "help you?" no clue.  I'd forgotten he'd ever said it, which now that I recall it, is devastating.  So I will publish this belated blog entry.  If for nothing else, but to help me remember.
One of the things I'd like Max to learn is manners.  It may seem trivial, or even meaningless at this point in his life.  Sometimes I wonder myself, but I also feel that it's never to early to start good habits.
Max's language is developing at an awesome pace.  I just marvel at what he can say.  I think back to those developmental checkpoints Dave and I felt obligated to check to make sure we weren't missing any red flags in Max's formative months.  A few months back, one stated that he should be able to say 10 words in context.  There Dave and I sat, counting, thinking, "Hi, Mommy, Daddy, more, eat, etc.", feeling confident that he had mastered the minimum requirement for his age, if not surpassing the goal.  Now, I could probably sit for 10 straight minutes and not be able to list every word he can say.  And he knows meanings for them and can even string several together to make a beautiful statement (of sorts).  Some of the words he knows now, and uses regularly, even without prompting are "Please (peece, in a hushed whisper),  thank you, sorry (the typical sawwee), and hi."  I feel an enormous pride when someone gives him something and he says thank you all on his own.